it was the year 2000. i had traveled by train from eastern china to the far northwestern corner of that giant country. enroute i had caught buses in deserted desert towns and suffered through insane mountain roads with detours through the sand that included sand dune enclosed dump trucks as part of the scenery. i had peed in my tea cup (because i was on a bus of all men) and basically accepted that i might die trying to reach Kashgar china. the bus lurched like an old over laden ship in the night. i went back to sleep and hoped for the best. but i got there! and it was very exciting because we were really FAR OUT.
western china is much similar to the middle east. there are people with light hair and green eyes and freckles and mosques. and its very remote. even in this big city.
now we get to my jeopardy story.
leaving our hotel, in the morning. we stroll down the sidewalk. what should evolve before us? a street fight! a chinese street fight. with 3 men attacking 2. they are pulling all sorts of kung fu moves. flying through the air with legs extended and a bunch of chinese yelling. now, i hate fights. and i am in a nice comfy travelling dress. and i am about 2 feet taller than any one and blond and huge! without thinking, i jump into the fray. i am armed only with a water bottle.i shout something like "knock it the fuck off". i remove the lid and fling water at the assailants. (hey it works for dogs right?) it all freezes. they have NO idea what has just happened. one man grabs his glasses the other 4 gawk. then the group splits and the fight is over. my travelling partner looks at me like i am crazy. "what?"i say. we stroll further down the street. 2 very old chinese men sitting on the curb smile up at me with toothless grins and give me the universal thumbs up sign! i am in FAR NORTH WESTERN CHINA!
that would be my jeopardy story but it would have to be gravely shortened to "i once broke up a street fight in china"and then i would get creamed on european history.
when i spit water in the peoples liberation army guys face, well that would not get told until i made it to the next days show.
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