1) i am personally offended that the beautiful olympic peninsula has only now received rampant worldwide recognition, not for it's dark mossy forests, clear rivers and lakes, world class mountains and salt water beaches but rather as the supposed setting of a low grade science fiction teen romance novel.
2) i like vampires. i am not a vampire freak but i enjoy the archetype of a dark being, living off the life source of others. the vampire bite is undeniably sexy and the goriness of a vampire lifestyle is mandatory for this symbolic being to have any meaning at all. edward is as much vampire as a brown unicorn with no magical powers, and no horn is a unicorn. in fact edward is more a unicorn than the brown pony because he, GASP, twinkles and we all know unicorns are twinkly.
3) edward is a jerk. he is always breaking his promises to bella, spying on her and in general being a controlling, jealous douche.
4) the portrayal of native americans in this saga is abysmal. the natives live in crummy homes, they run in out of control packs, like feral dogs and they abuse their women.
5) stephanie meyer is not only a weak writer, she behaved in a socially irresponsible manner when she chose to write about an area she had never visited nor knew anything about. she furthered this rash behavior with her mention of specific businesses that she had also never set foot in. if you were a vampire would you take your date to bella italia, a brightly lit street level former coffee house gallery or would you maybe opt for the italian restaurant across the street located in a haunted crypt? maybe this isnt such an obvious answer when you are edward the vampire. meyers decision to use these real life settings has had large financial consequences for local business owners.
6) the plot is dumb.
7) bella is boring. there is nothing in her character that makes me want to know if she chooses to get it on with an uptight old dude or a local hunky guy. i am all for boring people finding love. i just don't want to read about it.
8) poor forks. sure their economy has had a rebirth since the books came out. but the town known for its loggers and bad weather, general roughness and loggers who cut hippies long hair with chainsaws, must be a let down to twilight tourists who arrive expecting a quaint seaside town with tree lined victorians and a hip high school with kids driving expensive cars. even the new WELCOME TO FORKS sign, erected specifically for all the tourists to get their picture taken in front of, is just rough hewn wood, stuck up on a muddy salal covered bump.
9) there are a lot of amazing pieces of fiction published and yet this is the drivel that folks are drawn to.
10) i just loathe the hype. i hate that it is news that a lame story with lamer movies makes everyone stop and tune in. they sit in the rain for days and squeal at the sight of the subpar actor's card board cut outs in the "dazzled by twilight" shop. they count down the hours to both movie and book releases. they discuss the amazing love of the two bozo stars. maybe i sound like the twilight grinch, picking on all the cullens down in forksville. but don't look for me to get a grinchy change of heart on this one. i have to live here.
At times like these (impending Twilight releases), I'm sure glad I don't have to deal with people who flock to, but do not appreciate my hometown. You are right Summer, our Peninsula has so much to offer WITHOUT idiotic plots of movies whose soul purpose is to prey on teenage girl's money. I can't wear any of my "Port Angeles" t-shirts or sweaters at Walsh University because I get mobbed with "is that, like, the Port Angeles in like, Twilight?"
ReplyDeleteI just say "no", and walk away.
Nicely written Summer my old friend.
Craig